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The wedding vows which you take and all the words of loyalty that you exchange at some point of time becomes all null and void. It’s because the previous charm doesn’t exist anymore when you get into each other’s skin way too much and the marriage eventually becomes monotonous.


This is when you gradually discover the flaws in your ‘happily ever after’. And then there comes someone to the rescue popularly called the extramarital affair. Quite often, he is the one who is also married. You both indulge in this affair for fun and presume that you both can carry this forward without disturbing your married lives. This outsider makes you feel the soul connect with good sex, compassion, and understanding that seemed to have got lost from your marriage. Life suddenly takes a great turn and it’s all exciting again.


Esther Perel, a famous author, and therapist addressed a gathering recently where she spoke elaborately about the term infidelity. She said, “An affair brings together three key elements: a secretive relationship, which is the core structure of an affair; an emotional connection to one degree or another; and sexual alchemy. And alchemy is the key word here because the erotic frisson is such that the kiss that you only imagine giving, can be as powerful and as enchanting as hours of actual lovemaking. As Marcel Proust said, it's our imagination that is responsible for love, not the other person.”
Not all extramarital relationships are about getting over the mundane life or a craving for being wanted and desired. Some affairs are karmic. Ramon elaborates, “There are times when you meet someone outside the marriage and you instantly feel the connect. It is not a sexual attraction at first but you feel an intense pull towards that person. They are basically souls with whom you have unfinished business. You will experience a constant thirst to be with that person and you won’t find peace unless you indulge in that person in some way.”


Love it or hate it, affairs are here to stay. As you’re reading this, they are happening at your workplace, in your neighborhood and maybe somewhere inside your home too. And whenever they end, they will not only end up in heartbreak or betrayal but in lessons; lessons of maturity and discovery.

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